It’s hard to believe it’s been ten years. In some ways, September 11th, 2001 seems like so long ago. In others, I remember it like it was yesterday. I guess that makes sense. We tend to remember every detail of certain days in our lives—for me, it’s the happy ones like my wedding day and the birth of my children, as well as the sad ones like the day I lost loved ones, such as my grandparents. Of course, September 11th falls into the latter category—it was one horrific day I’ll never forget.

I was living in New York on that fateful morning. (To read more about my personal experience, read my previous blog post on the topic.)  And for the last 9 years, I’ve spent the anniversary with my husband watching news reports and commemorative TV specials late at night after our kids were asleep.

But this year is different. This will be the first year we will actually share the day with our children. And I was a little torn about just how to do that.To be honest, I hadn’t really thought about telling my kids too much about September 11th. They are 5 and 7, so they’re a little young. But today I received an email from their school which explained that, on Monday, each class (from pre-K on up) would be sharing in age appropriate activities to understand the importance of September 11. For instance, they’ll each receive little flags and they’ll have a moment of silence. They’ll also talk about how the freedoms we enjoy as citizens of this country.

It got me thinking. If the kids were going to be hearing about 9/11 at school, I should probably discuss it with them at home. However, how could I do that without scaring them? Without causing them to worry about ever getting on an airplane or visiting New York City again? Without shattering their belief that the world is a safe, happy place filled with kind people?

But I realized I don’t have to focus on the negative of that horrible day. I don’t have to dwell on the evil, the cruelty, the tragedy of it all (though I certainly will never forget it). Instead, I could tell them stories of courageous firefighters who gave their lives to save others. I could tell them how a bunch of people on an airplane fought the bad guys and probably saved hundreds of other people by doing so (let alone the Capitol.) I could explain that even though the bad people did really bad things, our country didn’t cower in defeat. We joined together with our loved ones. We fought back. And, in the end, good prevailed as it usually does.

Those are the lessons I want to teach my children. And I know that someday in the future they’ll learn every detail of September 11. But for now, I’ll teach them the positives things that came from that day. I’ll focus on the good.

And I think sharing September 11th with my kids will help me do the same.